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Coming off of what many would consider to be a pretty excessive online-dating binge sorry, not sorry , you could only imagine my surprise when I managed to stumble upon a man in real life. And while neither of us expected anything to come of a casual date - he was visiting the States from Berlin and I was enjoying my first summer of freedom after wrapping up undergrad - life really does happen while you're busy making other plans. In hindsight, there are definitely some things I wish I had fully understood before starting a long-distance relationship. Every LDR starts a little bit differently. For us, it was two weeks of spending almost every day together under the pretense of me "showing him around," culminating in an emotional last day in Coney Island. As I straddled his lap, wearing his sunglasses and scanning the beach littered with half-eaten funnel cakes and various other debris, he interrupted my daydream with, "Let's talk about the ocean. Sensing my confusion, he clarified, "I mean the ocean between us.

I find the single most important thing we do to keep our relationship intact is to maintain frequent communication.

We touch base several times a day at least. At first we'd talk by telephone, and now we also text and sometimes video chat. We don't talk long or write long messages.

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I will note that this is almost all my husband's idea. Initially, I thought it was a real pain in the butt. However, I was married previously and we also carried on a long distance marriage at different times.

While it's kind of like comparing apples and oranges, in the first marriage, we would go a day or two without touching base. Looking back, I think that contributed to a distancing in our relationship. This allows you to watch Netflix together and chat about it in the same window! We FaceTimed at the same time, and it seriously felt like we were hanging out the same way that we would be if we were in the same place.

Since everyone is different, it's important that we didn't just assume that the other wanted to text or FaceTime. We had a discussion about what activities would help us feel good and strong about the relationship.

The communication that we had built up during our six months in a long distance relationship helped us move in together with less of the typical conflict. We're happily married and co-own a business together now! If the plan is to be together in the same place, you need to have conversations and develop a plan.

The second situation I listed above is by far the hardest to overcome.

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The real issue here is trust. Without trust and some level of emotional generosity on your part, these feelings of jealousy will continue to pop up and will start to poison you over time!

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Lack of trust in a long distance relationship will not only impact your relationships but also your personal life. Lolo and I were in opposite time zones, which made it really tough when it came to the weekend.

Technology Is Your Friend

One of us would be going to bed while the other was up and about. This sort of situation allows the mind to race, and frankly get out of control sometimes!

These questions and more will pop up from time to time and the best way we found to deal with them was by being honest and having trust in each another. Just like your lifestyle will need to adapt when you start a long distance relationship, so will your spending habits.

We'd love to hear what hardcore truths you'd offer to someone who is just starting a long distance relationship. And how you dealt with them. Nate from Lasting The Distance. Nate is an Aussie blogger who is using his experience to help other couples . May 30,   Of all the limitations there are on long-distance relationships, the amount of time you can spend talking shouldn't be one of them. There are a ton of free, equally effective alternatives to texts.

Being separated by distance means there is going to be travel involved at some point, and potentially a lot of it. And travel? Lolo and I were literally on other sides of the world. It was tough.

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Visits and closing the distance came at a hefty cost. Together we figured out when our visits would be and what it would take to make them happen. This gave us financial goals to achieve.

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As we kept up with our goals well before our trips it was one less thing to worry about while we would be together, which just meant we could focus on US. Money or lack thereof, can have a huge impact on all relationships.

So any chance to remove it as an obstacle needs to be taken! These questions take time to answer, and often need to be revisited over multiple conversations. They raise complicated emotions, and you will both need time to really explore the practical and emotional implications of different scenarios.

Lolo and I had to answer all of these questions over time, and some were harder than others. Once we identified these as questions that we needed to answer, we really tried to answer them together as soon as possible without rushing or pressure. Moving is stressful, but so it uncertainty. At the start of this article I wrote about how starting a long distance relationship can lead to one of the hardest and most frustrating stages of your life.

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That perseverance, that determination, and that love you share will make it all worth it. Nate from Lasting The Distance.

Long Distance Relationships and Why They DO Work!

Nate is an Aussie blogger who is using his experience to help other couples strengthen their long distance relationships. If we all started our long distance relationships by signing up online, this is how the confirmation email would begin: Congratulations!

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And who are we? So without further ado, here is our first hardcore truth 1.

What we did Lolo and I really tried hard to talk to one another about any issues we were facing in and out of our relationship. Key takeaways Communicate often.

Dating long distance beginning

Be open and upfront with each other. Holding things back will hurt your relationship moving forward. As I straddled his lap, wearing his sunglasses and scanning the beach littered with half-eaten funnel cakes and various other debris, he interrupted my daydream with, "Let's talk about the ocean. Sensing my confusion, he clarified, "I mean the ocean between us. The poetic nature of the moment hit me like a freight train and I insisted that I didn't believe long-distance relationships could ever really work.

He agreed. I hoped he couldn't see my tears and was instantly grateful I had playfully grabbed his sunglasses only minutes before.

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And yet somehow, in spite of all of the rational reasons we could both think of that made starting a relationship after two weeks of dating a horrendously bad idea, we eventually decided that I would visit him in Berlin in a couple of months and we would figure it out then.

We said our goodbyes and I went home and bought a plane ticket. Here are some of the things I wish I'd known going into our relationship. The first few weeks after we said goodbye passed in a flash.

I had my ticket, we knew we would see each other again in two months and we both threw ourselves head-first into busy schedules to pass the time.

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But little did I know that wanting to fall asleep on the phone together was never going to happen. After a couple of missed Skype dates, we both realized that if this was going to work, we had to schedule times to talk with each other and stick to them.

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Unlike most relationships, the time you get to see each other is really limited - so it's crucial to prioritize it. If you can both be understanding and empathetic towards each other's needs, then you'll already be on the right track. When an amazing person is sitting across from you at dinner and waking up next to you in the morning, it's easy to remember why you're together.

But when you're on two different continents, it's much more likely that you're going to have a bunch of time to ruminate and focus on the negative.

Jul 29,   The communication that we had built up during our six months in a long distance relationship helped us move in together with less of the . Jan 26,   Before Starting A Long-Distance Relationship, Here's Everything I Wish I Knew. By Tayi Sanusi. Jan. 26, Coming off of what many would consider to be a pretty excessive online-dating binge Author: Tayi Sanusi. Dating long distance beginning. Living far earlier than ever before the days ago. Aug 3, according to dating long distance. Jan. Mar 29, 4 things for months after three months is discussing how it to know if you. 4 days ago how to suck. Are .

Will this ever actually work out?



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1 Comments

  1. Shasida
    Sharisar

    Many thanks for an explanation, now I will know.

    06.02.2020
    |Reply

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