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I am a master of dating too quickly. My last ex and I became exclusive on our second date. Come to think of it, I did the same thing with the boyfriend before that. Were those happy, healthy relationships? Am I still with them? What do you think?

First of all, keep in mind that slow doesn't always equal bad.

There is no right or wrong when it comes to the speed of a relationship, and how quickly it progresses forward. O'Reilly says. But, when it comes to slow versus surface-level relationshipsit never hurts to be able to tell the difference.


Here are a few differences experts point to, when it comes to figuring it all out. Even if a relationship is moving slowly, if there's plenty of open communication, it's unlikely to be one that's merely surface-level. A couple might discuss taking things slow, casually dating for awhile, getting to know each other, etc.

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When it comes to surface-level relationships, these "usually involve very little communication about difficult topics like the future of the relationship," he says. Asking each other is the only way to find out.

Take It Slow If You Want Your Relationship to Last When it comes to sex and love, slower is better. For women, but not for men, the longer the delay between dating and sex, the better the. Oct 18,   Guys Explain Why They Want To "Take Things Slow" By it slow "indicates a desire for the pace in which intimacy, connection, feelings, and commitments grow in a relationship to be one that Author: Sean Abrams. Jun 28,   Here are tips for how to pace yourself while dating: 1. Speak up. If you want to go slow, say so - and say it early. If you establish boundaries and a pace you're comfortable with early on, you won't be alarming your date with an awkward "We need to .

Most surface-level relationships are full of fun and excitement, but it's usually the type of excitement that fizzles out once the honeymoon phase is over. A couple might be super into each other for a few months, only to realize that they don't have anything to sustain them once the initial spark fades. If it is going to work out, however, that spark won't be as quick to fade.

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It may not burn as brightly as it did during the honeymoon phase of the relationship, but the couple will still be happy to be near each other, and will feel excited about building a future.

There's nothing wrong with surface-level relationships, flings, or one night stands.

How To Take It Slow In A Relationship So You Don't Ruin A Great Thing

Not every relationship has to go deep, and become official. But being able to tell the difference between something fleeting and something long-lasting sure can come in handy - especially once the partners begin to feel invested. When a couple is getting serious, they might notice that they feel selfless, and like they want to put their partner first.

As Bennett says, "Healthy relationships involve meeting needs Usually, this includes a heart-to-heart where both people make it clear that they're exclusive, and want to be together.

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They might decide to take it slow at first, in order to make sure they're both happy. But they'll do so knowing that things are pretty darn near official, and likely to stay that way.

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Even when a couple hasn't officially committed to each other, if they're both on board to be together long-term, they will start to talk about their goals and plans for the future. As Dr.

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O'Reilly says, they might begin "making plans for the future e. This goes for sleeping together, putting a label on it - any ct of a new romance. The right guy will wait for you and go at your pace. After all, you know that sex is not the most significant ct of any partnership.

Aug 24,   How To Take It Slow In A Relationship So You Don't Ruin A Great Thing Asking for your time and independence when you start dating someone can sometimes be intimidating, and occasionally, it Author: Alison Segel. We can all relate to all those Taylor Swift songs about super intense short relationships. You've most likely had the experience of dating a guy for a month or two, being really into him, and then one day your feelings have just evaporated and it's like kissing your brother. Go slow this time and avoid the dreaded almost-relationship.

You can wait before introducing him to your people. Of course your family and BFFs will be dying to meet the new guy that has made you so happy.

And they should. You might change your mind. Doing it earlier will make the break-up less awkward.

Not diving headfirst into a relationship may turn it into something deeper.

You immediately connect with an awesome coach on text or over the phone in minutes. Just click here. Aya Tsintziras Aya Tsintziras is a freelance lifestyle writer and editor.

She shares gluten-free, dairy-free recipes and personal stories on her food blog, ahealthystory.

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She loves coffee, barre classes and pop culture. By Averi Clements.

Dating: Setting the Pace Without Scaring Someone Away - Esther Perel & Dr. Alexandra Solomon

By Amanda Chatel. By Sarah Burke. By Kate Ferguson. By Lyndsie Robinson.

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