Interesting. friend keeps dating losers you
Posted in Dating
So how can you tell if he is really Mr. Right, or if he's just a loser? Here are my top ten signs that you are dating a loser He always apologizes This is definitely one of the signs you are dating a loser! Losers tend to have very shallow relationships , and this can lead to women being impressed by their eagerness to tell you they love you, commit and get married.
Trying to base such important decisions in life on a bunch of nonsense from desert savages makes about as much sense as calling a psychic hotline.
And yet, these women will sleep around with all different kinds of men every chance they get. How very pathetic. Men looking for a free ride are thinking the exact same way about how to get what they want that being as much as possible for nothing which is why going out specifically to meet men you meet losers.
The good men are too busy having a life to go to things where nasty people are putting knives in each others backs, if youre serious about finding a good man you should be too busy to be a part of that too, the creeps will only turn you off men in the end. My issue is my trust for women isnt there anymore it takes two to tango but since we are focused on women here. I will say this.
Its hilarious. They think that they wield some special power over men and think they should be pursued and loved and taken care of and all thatbasically entitled, and put nothing into the relationship. Even on match. Makes me just wanna run right up to them and say hello haha. Good luck to both sides we all need it.
Just my take. Women love scumbags. Get tattoos. Pick fights. Learn how to lie like a champ. These are the keys to success with women. And by treat me well, I really mean neither reject, abuse, nor abandon me. For all my education, I had no idea what drove humans to make decisions love, fears, beliefs or what the major fears failure, rejection, abandonment consisted of.
Had I known these things, I would have chosen to be alone rather than waste my time with losers. Had I been life smart, I would have gotten counseling and opened my heart to a real man who was a winner.
Had I known myself better-that is-know my true feelings and base my knowledge of them off of what I thought about, did, and dreamed of-rather than the lies I told myself-I would have lived my young adulthood radically differently. I was better looking; in better shape; more muscled and heavier on the scale; more educated; better traveled; more responsible; and had a better personality.
And I came from less.
Go figure! Whenever we went out, people stared and, at times, even laughed. They ended up treating me like garbage and made fun of me quite frequently. This turned into emotional and, finally, physical abuse.
My self-concept was a train wreck given the highly abusive and chaotic childhood I had had. It turned me into a beautiful person and over-achiever, and I really regret not seeing myself in that light.
If only I had had someone sit me down and discuss with me my self-conceptbut no one cared enough. I used to do this too. Once u get them they start thinking well if I can get her then I can do even better BC it must be something about me that makes me so special. Try what I did w my loser ex. He was very mean and ugly w me and controlling and unsupportive. Always rejected me and gaslighted me on a regular basis. Yes it was mean but he was abusive. His face dropped and all of a sudden the bad boy facade melted and he started playing the victim.
I left him and have been happy ever since. I think to myself what was I thinking?! I gave him 6 years of undying loyalty BC I cared about him more than myself and I had little to show for it. Those old guys have been around longer than u and know all the right things to say to charm you. Proceed with caution if u are dating any man that is more than years older than you. Oh, so older guys or a certain age group and age gap means they will use you and mistreat you, or they have bad intentions, and is why they are with a loser like you in the first place?
Might as well say a certain race of men too are more mean people or are only savages out to get your poor little soul. Unfortunately there are so many very Mentally Disturbed Psycho Women nowadays everywhere us Good Men go since when we will try to start a Normal Conversation with a woman that we would really like too meet which she will start Cursing at us for No Reason at all.
Had it happened to me already and a friend that i know had the same thing happened to him as well about two months after me. So true about psycho women, I have this experience everywhere, you try to be nice and polite but get hammered and treated as crap. Whereas scumbags and deadbeats get their full attention even get laid instantly. Go figure. Yeah this shit is ridiculous. It makes the female sound so humble, settling down with a median paying job and a loved one.
In the world of love, I am a loser. This man requires some acknowledgement, any signal, something, anything that hints at a possibility. Perhaps I should be more direct. With women I am acquainted with I do engage in banter, etc. I grew up thinking the same as most normal men. If you build it they will come. I built a good life great career, a growing side business that is profitable, enjoy good health and want for nothing except a normal girlfriend.
I am at ease talking to anybody about anything. I can go to a party rare event and easily socialize. I can come and go as I please. There are very few if any truly available women. Women come in a few basic configurations:. They feel wronged. I have no chance at all with these women because I might have a trait or two that remind them of their ex-husbands or fathers who they might hate very much.
These traits could be anything from a wrinkled shirt to my baldness. Busy: these are the women around my age that have given up and have thrown themselves into caring for their grandchildren. They think all men are the same.
They also gulped the feminist ideology early in life but now find themselves looking for validation and comfort from other women in the same boat. She;s got orange peel all over her and her midsection is bulging. Her expiration date is long past and she offers nothing to compensate like a nice home cooked meal, affection, compassion, or support. Insecure: I have a business partner who happens to be a woman.
For some reason, partner conjures up sex regardless of the adjective. These women want to control everything about you. Conflicted: you would think at middle age and after all the feminist wars, sex is something to be enjoyed. But not for a lot of these middle aged women. They would rather make the decision than suffer rejection. Dino, this is in regards to your post. I agree with how hard it must be to find any kind of partner due to past relationships and unforeseen circumstances.
I was in a relationship for 18 yrs. I always dreamed of being that girl that wanted to grow old with the man I had children with, have grandbabies and be happy. I was far from that. I had a beautiful son 9 yrs. He was born with a disability, he turned my life around.
He is 19 yrs. When my son started school full time I decided it was time to go back to work, I wanted my independence. I am a very independent and stubborn person, I will admit it.
I am not unreasonable and I am very good listener to sensible. I bought my own house with a little help from my sister, my son and I were now on our own.
I stayed away from relationships for 18 months. I then met, a man younger than me at the establishment where we both worked. He was one of those guys that said all the right things and made me feel really good about myself. Especially after being in a so called marriage of never going anywhere or doing anything for myself. He wanted to spend time with me and always had the right thing to say. I know, red flag there He also lived in a furnished basement suite with really nothing except his cloths.
He only lived half a block away from me. He started coming over almost every night. He would mow my lawn, and we would talk for hrs.
I was in a really good place financially. I always had money in my pocket, I had a low mortgage, my car was paid off. He was making really good money as well. We dated for about 6 months then he said he could move in and help me out. Things were great for a while, then things started to change. Maybe it was me that was changing. We have been together 10 yrs. Within these years I have always worked. I have taken care of my son. Things started to change about 4 yrs.
Its hard to explain just when it changed. He is very vacant when I talk to him. He has confessed that within the 10 yrs. He is consumed with pot and associates with bad company.
He checks out other women, not just the occasional glance, the stare for 30 second look. He watches porn. These are just some of the things he has done.
It gets so much deeper than that. I would do it for him, I would enjoy it, but not every weekend and my holidays. I want to travel and see places. Walk on the beach holding hands and lay on the beach somewhere drinking fruity drinks. I am a hopeless romantic, I like supper by candlelight or just cuddling on the couch watching movies.
We are now in dept. He has all the hunting gear. Now this is the second time and as the saying goes, Fool me once shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me. I am now in the process of a separation. I cannot handle the things he does now to drive me crazy and knows it. I have lost my trust in him. Its draining! I now get anxiety attacks and my memory is not what it used to be, caused by stress.
I am not going to say that this is all his fault, cause its not. I guess my point is. Wellyes we are, but we get hurt and demolished inside. We have all had our share of crap in our lives. We as women hold on to things for a long time.
They go out with deadbeat losers because those are the only guys who ask them out. Smart men wrote women off a long time ago. Women add absolutely nothing positive to a man's life. We are so much better off without them. Benjamin Jimenez says. October 26, at am. I have said this once and I will say it again. If you are a woman who. You date losers because you truly, honestly, don't believe that you can do better. If you don't think the guys you really like will even glance your direction, guess what? They won't. No one is attracted to low self-worth. The problem is, it's one thing to know this and quite another to fix it. The whole "change him" attitude is awful. What I learned from this comment is that your friend is scared to be single. Thats why this guy keeps her. Cause she is easy. Her fear of being single keeping her in a bad relationship and she is missing out in any chance of finding a nice guy and having a happy life. My cousin is like that.
We are definitely made to think differently than men. I wish that I could just let things roll off my back. But with that said, if the right guy came along and treated, and I will just speak for myself here, the way I need to be treated, I could work on seeing past all the crap that has happened in my life. Yes, there will always be little things that will remind me of things that happened in my past.
I do believe that with that right person those things fade in time. Its all about understanding each other as well. I have always been one to say that everything we go through in life is a lesson. I know from this lesson that my standards for myself are higher. I know that I will not try to make a man a better man or think that I can save him. I would like to have a man in my life that I can trust, have fun with, laugh with, talk for hrs.
I am a dreamer, but after all this is done, I will be holding out for a man who knows how to respect and love me. We all have stories, some good, some not so good. Some learn from them some never do. Thank you for the insightful read, it really resonated on a deep level. I hope by now you have found someone who appreciates you completely. MAdonna whore is a stupid phrase that means nothing. Sex stirs up many conflicting emotions in many people, not just women.
And believe me, the women I know are very sexual and unabashed! YOu men! That is what love and sex and romance and marriage is all about. You men keep expecting the benefits of marriage such as sex, support, caring, etc. Not with women who value themselves. The geeky nice boys married huge obese women. The worst were the super hot ones. They had zero interest in Men except what they could get from them and were as promiscuous as any guy. The average looking girls had a lot more going for them.
Tell that to my roommate who is a total loser but somehow gets women. This guy leaves used condoms on his floor for months at a time without even bothering to clean up after himself. That is a loser in my opinion. How can he be anything but a loser? They both told me when they broke up wit them that they feel like they wasted their time. The only thing I can think of is they thought they were hot, probably the hottest guy they dated. They were obsessed with their man.
They dont realize until the relationship is really over that they achieved nothing, no house, no car, no savings. The relationship was a waste of time. Gaining material things is not the purpose to be in a relationship. No matter how long or short, a relationship is never a waste. If you are not interested in building a life with someone and improving your lifestyle, then you can stay single and be poor!
Poverty causes many many issues. Many Career women would really make a Horrible Wife anyway do to their Greed And Selfishness that they carry around with them Everywhere they go. You are all wrong. Here is the issue, women have been making more money over the last 20 years than they ever had before. Now women have the same mentality that men have about money and status.
On an everyday basis I see it more and more that the woman is in charge of the relationship. I see woman driving and men sitting in the passenger seat of the car. I see woman being single mothers with the father nowhere to be found.
The question is why, why do I see that. A working man that is busy cannot be around all the time when a woman needs him because she is busy also. It is a crazy game these days, but the people losing are the hard working men.
Great article! I agree with everything said here, particularly with the comments about what women are doing in their 20s. I notice that much of the party scene here in NC is filled with young, tanned, fit people but not many have careers or even good jobs. Many work at the beauty counter at the mall, the gym as a personal trainer, or starter jobs. They spend all their time on appearance vs making money and building a future.
It is rare that you find someone who does both.
7 signs you're going to end up in a relationship with your friend
I totally agree that women waste their time on good looks and sacrifice quality characteristics like ambition, compassion, and stable career. However, I do believe the good guys get taken early so you are left with a very small pool where you must choose between attractiveness and earning potential, decent morals, and all-around nice guy. Very hard to find both! There are a lot of people in committed relationships who bend over backwards to hide that so they can cheat until the emptiness in their lives is filled - or so they believe.
And they prey viciously on the single population, knowing full well that there are so many of us for the taking. Date with caution, my fellow singles. Easiest way to tell, IMO, if the guy is a good guy is to not put out for the first few dates except for a kiss. I think the reason a lot of gals end up with bad guys is they are attracted to a lot of their characteristics - spontaneous, carefree, etc. A lot of them are also attractive and due to not having a job or not having a job that requires you to work more than 35 hrs a week have plenty of time to stay in shape also.
My sister in law is that way. Recently, I tried to set her up with one my few single friends in his early 30s who just recently got out of a LTR. Sigh in the last 12 months instead she has dated 10 losers, the best of which lasted 6 weeks. Instead, those women just want to play the field and have a good time. Women have a tremendous amount of power over men, particularly when they are young and hot.
If they are smart and mature, they use it wisely. It astounds me how many women squander this power. They also have uglier children now, all because of fragile male egos.
This topic, in general, is one yet to be taken very seriously. That minimizes the very specific pain and emotional damage associated with dating one particularly bad man. Where walking away felt like giving up on somebody you loved. Where you still thought of him as a good man working to be a better man.
And while you were digging yourself in deeper, distracted by the practice of unconditional love, this man reveals his true self. A full coming out party, as the very bad man he is. And yet, u continue to stay.
Loneliness and unworthy feelings are now the only reality you know. Not just the result of this mans heinous carelessness. More damaging was the shaming by loved ones and general school of thought that only a flawed woman would choose that.
You go back him. More than a few times. There was no reward. Down on their luck men in this thread can spin yarns all day about the insecure girl who loves to be mistreated. But it only serves to reveal their personal insecurities irrelevant to this discussion.
I love this. Also hoping things will get better as they once were in the early days together. But how to change that feeling? My conscious mind tells me that yes, I deserve better. But I keep letting the loser manipulate me. This is what I battle every day anymore. CHiggins, thankfully you are released. You put so much care and thought into your response. It was surgical and poetic at the same time. I hope that you continue to find healing and, beyond that, all the beauty and adventure that life has to offer.
I hope to hear more from you. He swears everyone else is the problem and makes one excuse after another when he is eventually fired. He lived off of her and had her working two jobs and bugging her parents for money for years.
The other woman figured him out and when my relative threw his crap out he came back after the plane landed at 2 in the morning making threats.
She took that piece of garbage back and her room mate told them both to leave. Not only do you walk away from scum like that C Higgins you drop a nuke to wipe if off the face of the earth. You do deserve better no matter what you or others think. Why does anyone care? Why does any of this matter to anyone? Here is an idea. This should be a huge red flag that she is probably a really insecure individual that will date a tall, bad boy, with muscles and tattoos over any decent, sane human being and then turn around and blame men for her irresponsible behavior.
Start making the right decisions ladies! Handsome who may have been spoiled by women all his life. THAT is the guy a woman should look more closely at. I know because I married a guy like that about 31 years ago and he is my best friend, my husband. Men treating women less than well may work in the movies but not in real life. I was a stripper for 8 years!
Iam very confident! I dated great men. Have a greal man! I had to take care of my mother whose mentally ill! Also pay for college myself! I cannot believe all the miserable, women hating, men in this thread. I can kind of guess why they arent getting hotties.
I am objectively above average looking and intelligence and higher earning than most men. I bought him a sign for his truck when he worked for himself doing construction.
Never could get more than part time hours. I let him move in so he could get caught up on bills he owed and get back on his feet. I went back to school to become a dentist so he wanted to go back to school too. He became a chiropractor. I mean he literally cannot pay his expenses. Meanwhile I spent thousands helping him get his first office set up.
I started buying properties and paying him to do maintenance, so I am actually his main source of income. But he has nothing saved, is in huge debt, and yet each day seems to do very little to market his clinic or get the word out to patients who could use his care.
His a good chiropractor but a terrible business man. From the beginning, I always paid for both of us when we go put. Even before I met him I have always paid my way because I never wanted to be indebted to anyone. From my twenties to now. I am fifty. I never expected anyone to pay my my way. So you judge me saying well you must be ugly. I am attractive even if I say so myself.
So you say well you must be a loser with low self esteem. That is easy for you to say. But what about the fact that he is a genuinely nice person and I genuinely care about him and want the best for him. I want him to thrive. I just want him to pull his own weight.
Men like you judge women who wanttheir man to earn decent living. You call them gold diggers. If they settle you call them losers or ugly.
Sounds like you just hate women. I am not looking for him to be rich. He is also 50 by the way. But when my mom and brother were terminally ill, he went with me to care for them. The problem, by providing for him I feel like his mom or older sister. I have always tried to work from the assumption we are equal. And he does have skills I will never have which I admire. He is always available. Like a good girlfriend.
I am not frigid. He tells me it is always new for him like the first time and always finds me hot. He is skillful on bed to his credit. Even though he too is exceptionally very good looking. I am writing because I honestly want input here. Two choices: either you stay with him for the friendship and accept that he will not pull his weight, or you end it. I hate using the word, but you are acting as an enabler. My dearest relative has gotten herself into a situation that is incomprehensible to me.
But his life story sent up so many red flags about him - nothing criminal or anything like that - but he seems to function only through the women he has been with. The thing to do is live separately. I wonder if you met this man when you were at the top of your game, so to speak what would this type be? Undefined as individuals. Never individuated.
Jul 03, Sadly, if she chooses guys you consider to be losers over you, then let her live the results of her choices. Be a good friend (if she is your friend) and supportive, but don't expect to rush in and "save" her from herself. And, don't gloat over her choices. You may make bad choices at some point, and you don't want judged.
Thank you for the reply, Jake. Also, I hope you have resolved your situation and I would be interested to know what it entailed.
Friend keeps dating losers - Is the number one destination for online dating with more marriages than any other dating or personals site. Register and search over 40 million singles: chat. Want to meet eligible single woman who share your zest for life? Indeed, for those who've tried and failed to find the right man offline, rapport can provide. Sure, your friend might be temporarily mad at you - but as we all know, given a little time and space, we all eventually see the huge losers for what they really were, post-relationship. There will eventually come a moment where, over a glass of champagne (because you are both extremely classy), she'll tell you how you totally saved her. As with most relationships if you have to question it and there is doubt that in itself is the biggest red flag of all. If you have dated these boyfriends in the past and want to avoid a pattern repeat then look out for the above tell-tale signs. Dating is fun, so cast these men free and dip your toe back in the dating pool.
Well, my dearest relative is marrying her guy. End of story. End of family. Also, I hear your tone soften as you spoke about boyfriend helping with caring for your parents. I get the sense you took on a lot of responsibility as a child.
Not, to mention we have been condition as women to care for others before ourselves. Your boyfriend Doesnt maintain anything because he knows you will take care of everything.
He is using your weakness and strengths against you. There is no excuse for his grown ass healthy self to not be ablessed to make a living for himself. We have been condition to pit everyone before ourselves that doing it any other way seems unnatural. Get a puppy less headaches. You should seek counseling to get yourself help. Go get what makes you happy! Hell, get nice guy that can hold his own and have some mad crazy sex! You will forget all about nice guy broke lazy ass! I look forward to an ate!
Thank you for responding so thoughtfully! You had me laughing and also cringing because you have a funny way of pointing things out and also because you cut to the heart of some things that I have to admit are true. You are wise and generous. I bought a house which we do not live in, but which I wanted him to renovate so that we could move into it. The deal was that I would not pay him for the renovation because he would live there with me when it was done. I felt that if he was providing this valuable contribution, then I could justify being the only earner.
He did a chunk of the renovation. He works on it a little bit on the weekends and wants me to work with him. I do but I am exhausted. During the week he goes to his office and sees zero to three patients per week. I imagine George Castanza under his desk. But, in spite of that new fact. The brain loves familiarity and routine. It also bonds us to individuals through various brain chemicals. Women bond with men through oxytocin. Women typically bonded to these loser men early, back when they may not have been losers at least in the eyes of the women.
However, breaking the bond of love is emotionally painful for the brain. It literally can create withdrawal and anxiety even panic attacks. Or, she might have developed codependent behaviors. So, in some sick and twisted way, taking care of this man meets her needs. This may not seem like a good answer because it should only apply to kids. Women have evolved to be especially good at nurturing and caring. However, sometimes this nurturing, mothering instinct goes beyond children and applies to loser men.
So, romantic love within a woman can be much more complicated than just sexual attraction. So, a woman might have the same difficulty abandoning a troubled man as much as she does letting go of a troubled child. Most people have issues with self-esteem, including women. They genuinely believe they cannot land another man even if they try. Many men have trouble admitting that a beautiful girl with a loser guy could begasp a loser herself. Guys assume that because she is pretty, or wears glasses, or whatever, that she must be nice and innocent.
However, plenty of women use drugs, make poor decisions that jeopardize the health and well-being of others, and are physically and emotionally abusive. You just let your attraction to her or feelings of pity cloud your reality to that fact. David wrote more extensively about this topic here.
5 signs that you're dating a loser
Complaining about her boyfriend choices will usually be totally fruitless. No woman will be lectured into dating you over a loser. You will just make her defensive and come up with new and creative reasons to continue dating him. Instead, be excellent and attractive. This blog has tips. Our book offers many, many more. Attract her to you and show her how being with you is a far more exciting and attractive alternative. No one should make you feel paranoid about anything and you should feel free to be yourself!
Most people are usually polite and cordial to strangers, such as a restaurant server or maybe even someone you pass on the street. But I would definitely be wary of someone who was mean to perfect strangers. Watch his interaction with others like strangers, co-workers and even animals.
Not Mr. Being charming is indeed something to be proud of, but when someone is too charming, it raises some red flags. Does he know how to charm the pants off of people to manipulate them or the situation?
Friend keeps dating losers
Probably not! And if he pressures you for sex, definitely drop him! True gentlemen do not need to brag about sex or they would never pressure you for sex! Does this guy have a comment or critique of everyone and everything?
Who wants to date a liar? If you frequently or even occasionally catch your guy in lies, start heading for the door! How can you trust someone, let alone build a relationship with someone who lies about little, everyday things? Ugh, freeloaders are such leeches and dating a freeloader is even worse!